sky blue

it's very hot,
very, very hot,
painted outside again,
but the constant whir of a/c compressors
was more annoying than the heat

one of these eggs are real

or
what color is robins egg blue?
or
what color
is anything
a color?
anymore?
this is turning into another poem...
another poem about my family
but it's a long one
so i'll limk to it when it's done
(because at the moment
i am being waaaaaaaaaaay too literal)

the discipline

the power of the discipline
(not of discipline, of what one has chosen as their discipline)
when one is exhausted
can be astonishing
it's the real hook for me
in abramovic's work

acceptance

acceptance is the word of the day
why?
maybe because there's no other choice
and
why not?
perhaps it's time to learn about flow
and how to go with it

the reality is
that most of the time
when i make a deep connection with myself
i get hit with an overwhelming wave of sadness
this happens when i paint
and
this often happens when i practice yoga
which i have had a great resistance to lately

(i forced that issue
taking 2 classes
in as many weeks
and with what result?
no connection
i just feel like i am exercising
and that's more upsetting that not practicing at all.)

so i let myself paint directly on the canvas
from the tube
with no brush
using colors i know i will hate
just to see what will happen
just to trust
that there is no right
and there is no wrong
there is just doing
in the moment
from the heart
without judging