working on play again

this was hard

to get to the difficult places on these drawings requires some extreme measures
this was a bit scary,
all day i was resisting working on this,
an when i finally painted
it was a different flower than the one i had intended

discouraged

why?
because nothing's working

sugru

no, this is not an infomercial,
this is sugru
and my first studio project with it
as you may know,
i save everything...
the blockx watercolors that i use,
come in these wonderful china pans
and i can't throw them out.
other watercolor that i use
dries up in their tubes
and i don't throw them out either

so i decided to make a hack that would let me secure the dried up tubes
inside the pans;

if i just empty the pigment into the pan it moves around a lot when i am trying to build a good load of color onto the brush
and if i try to hold the tube in place, my fingers, get covered in paint
which invariably ends up as a smudge on whatever i am working on.

the first step was to write the color of the paint on the pan
so that i know what to replace when it runs out

then i peeled the labels off the tubes so that they wouldn't absorb the paint and dissolve into the pan
and then i opened the tube to expose the paint, leaving enough intact to contain it

each tube required a different positioning
depending on the consistency of the paint,
and how much of it remained

i wrapped the top of each tube with the sugru
molding contact with the pan and molding it so that it overlapped the edge of the pan.

and here they are,
good to go
:)

i've also used sugru to repair a broken top to a jar (china)
and alter a strange little pouch

paint

a lot about paint today
not my paint necessarily
but my relationship to paint

healing the split

that's what this is all about really
making myself whole again
not feeling split and compartmentalized
having my decisions, priorities, etc
stem from a centered place

false starts

sometimes i look at all the false starts lying around the studio
and i wonder what will happen
once this month is up...

missing

ever feel like something's missing?
i do

messy

things are getting messy,
literally,
the paint is giving me a hard time

consistent

at least i'm consistent across mediums
it makes me feel as if i have something to say
even if i am not sure what it is

daydreams

i think you could say
that i started this new work
with the idea that since i was feeling uncomfortable "painting"
i should approach these canvases more like making "drawings"
even though i was basically doing this with the smaller canvases a few months ago
it wasn't a conscious process
with these,
i am proceeding with a bit more purpose & awareness

synthesis

it's been a lot about making things work together
about finding the common ground
about erasing the barriers imposed by media

paint today

thinking that what i painted today
could be part of a show entitled:
"yes, your 5 year old could do that, but why would they want to?"

daily bread		animus

january's flickr posts:

4 the people of haiti

the news is so devastating
it's hard to fathom
text “Haiti” to 90999 to send a $10 donation to the Red Cross.

slow start

my new years always begins slowly
because i honestly don't really celebrate it until my bday 2 weeks later
which is great;
i recover from the holidays
get my sh*t in order
and then...
a fresh start

right now
this approach is especially useful
the 1stfans project
which has dominated the past 2 weeks
will be half way through
and my head will be clear to paint

i think this is the image that will illustrate my new years resolution:

p.o.v.

there is something about this that i must like
i take it almost everyday
as a safety shot
in the event that i have nothing else to post...
but there is more to it than that
there is a the fact that there are unfinished thoughts here
which,
while i can recognize them as coming from me
i can't figure out how to speak them yet

a piece of it

Last Day On Planet Earth

Lippincott takes a photograph with his eye.
Wittmann paints in the crust of salt with a finger of spit.
Yoshioka wheels the last piano onto the fire.
Owens throws stones at a rock.
The afternoon turns over in its sleep, then sleeps.

Kirszenstein trades her kingfisher skull for a tinned peach.
Jerome traps air in a screw-top jar.
Bambuck plants the last of his teeth.
Johnson dresses his gangrenous wound with a carrier bug.
Bolt pulls up the ladder, secures the hatch.

-Simon Armitage

root

many things are starting to come together
the concept that started in santa's workshop is beginning to really gel
the photos & the drawings are starting to merge
in a very organic way
and i believe tomorrow i will start to release my dependence on the bound journals
as the foundation for my daily watercolors

this image says it a bit better
but i don't think it is as strong as the one above:

lunch

so today
i am doing errands
to the post office
to the bank
to shop for some food
and i realize
that i don't usually do this...

these activities,
for the past 3 years
have been stuck in between other things
on my way to & from work
or piggybacked onto other appointments.

it's been so long
since i was just able to leave the house
run some errands
come home
and work:
simple pleasures

(no wonder i've had such a hard time feeling settled)

lunch: semolina fennel raisin bread, flatbread, boursin, lemon artichoke spread, apple, tea (not pictured)
:)

studio by the sea

it feels so familiar
this thing of painting the ocean
today the fog has lifted a bit
and i can see we are in a cove
and there is a bit of land off to the left
when i look through the binoculars,
i find that it is a string of islands
it must look so different on a clear day