work

someone's been working hard
and i have some difficult work ahead

today

i am not sure what i can say about today
that this doesn't...

bee|me

somewhat floored by whatever this is,
it made it hard to find my equilibrium today
(felt so much like vertigo last night but now not sure)

small, that's all

some days, it takes me until quite late to start
and often that is because i am waiting to really & truly be alone

today,
as i was waiting for today
i experienced a number of things that i should take as signs
that it's time to pull inside,
time to hibernate,
time to really & truly be alone

i could bore you with the minutiae that set me on edge today,
the petty frustrations,
the uncomfortable discoveries,
the reality of commitments not yet addressed
but instead i'll just share something i read recently by david sedaris:

Pat was driving, and as we passed the turnoff for a shopping center she invited us to picture a four-burner stove.

“Gas or electric?” Hugh asked, and she said that it didn’t matter.

This was not a real stove but a symbolic one, used to prove a point at a management seminar she’d once attended. “One burner represents your family, one is your friends, the third is your health, and the fourth is your work.” The gist, she said, was that in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two.

hmmmmmmmmmm...
i truly believe this;
i think you can be successful at friends, family and health all at the same time
but throw work into the mix
and something's got to give

it's already dark
and it's cold
i'm flipping that little switch
and turning some things off

the journey

honestly
this is what it is ultimately about for me
the minutiae of process
the inherent beauty of materials
this little still life
composed of
the remains of a photo transfer
from an image posted months ago
with the gold thread of the present
and a stranded map pin from the recent past

yeah,
this is what it's about
and this & this make up the journey

a death

i have a hard time with death,
i am not implying anyone has an easy time with it
but i don't mean how i deal with it personally
i mean how i deal with others who are effected by it.
in the past couple of years, a number of people reasonably close to me died
and in most cases, i have not been present for those who were closest to them
and in many cases, these were people close to me as well
i can't make the excuse
that this is another casualty of the disconnect
that i have felt from the past 3 years of moving/renovation;
(though that has certainly been a contributing factor)
this is something i have had problems with for a long time.

last night i went to a book signing for a collaborative publication
between nancy grossman & adrienne rich at the michael rosenfeld gallery
this is a gallery i am close to on many levels and going was significant to me as a sign
that each day i am returning to the things that are important to me.
charles seliger, a dear friend of the gallery and one of their artists was there.
i have known him for years from his shows and his supportive presence at the gallery
and he has always been generous with me both in his concern & his support for my work.
i was about to greet him but all of a sudden he did not seem well
and within a very short time paramedics arrived
and he was given oxygen and taken to the hospital.
this morning i learned he was in intensive care,
this afternoon i learned he had died.

it feels very sad and very immediate.
i came home tonite and spent some time with his monograph
re-experiencing the power & the beauty of his work
here is a passage from one of his journals:

Thursday, April 19, 1962
Busy NY all day. At night, I realize once again to myself and remain more sure than ever- that my ceaseless interest in the structured order of natural forms is for me the most personal expression of a mystique deep within me concerning the origins and mystery of life and living matter... I want a painting to be a prayer or a poem to the never beginning never ending continuity of life no matter where my experiments take me or how devious my thoughts may be.

charles was an inspiration;
his work, which spanned decades
was filled with the evidence of exploration, commitment and the love of being an artist.
he made exquisite work

in the image above is the invitation to the charles' 2006 show at the rosenfeld gallery,
sadly, i missed his show last fall.

more seliger links

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