wanting more poetry

i did
i did want more poetry from these images
but i have to settle for this
i have been "organizing" for days on end
not my physical space
but my mental one
part of my dissatisfaction seems to be stemming from
a lack of defined goals
which has resulted in
never having a means to experience progress
never knowing i have moved forward
never feeling accomplishment

purple and then some

so after having made a painting of this flower yesterday
this is what i see in the brush water today

so yes
just like the purple separated to blue pigment on the bottom
and pink suspended in the water
it did more or less the same thing on the paper...

and this...
something else i found

things i made today

i did anything (and everything) that came into my head today

clearly it didn't amount to much

it was an awful studio day actually
filled with relentless self recriminations
which i call truths
it seems to have gotten a little better towards the end

rose

it takes me so long to return
when i have been away
so
long

f*cked

first my scanning computer started making noises from hell...
definitely on its last legs
that's understandable, it is the first computer i ever owned
but tonight my main imaging computer seems to have gotten hit with something
and i can't really get any programs to run
at least i can access the files
but it leaves me in a very uncomfortable place
and with 4 hours of less sleep tonight.

p_n_g

happy ♥day

p_n_g fake

i am looking at things with fresh eyes
nothing needs to be the way it appears
that's kind of a big piece of being an artist
you make your own rules

p_n_g

how do i say this?
i am walking a bit of a tightrope
between myself
and
my persona...

last night's dialogue
(see previous post)
had a lot to do with this
with t_l_v
(listening to that little voice)
being true to the self in spite of what the public says
letting the spirit/soul/heart drive the work
not the projection
it's a very slippery slope
especially when you work virtually
and it's causing me no end of confusion

btw, that's arugula from this summer's garden that reseeded itself
:)

p_n_g abstraction

trying to bring things into focus
or...
not

is that the dance?
between definition & the unknown
between freedom & control
between purpose & passion

i seem to be bouncing between the extremes at the moment
not finding that comfort of the middle ground

my twitter posts today were a lot about that
(http://twitter.com/ivegotasecret/status/4767267713,
http://twitter.com/ivegotasecret/status/4767434717 &
http://twitter.com/ivegotasecret/status/4767475764
(sorry, those links will all open in new windows, something about twitter doesn't let you use the back button to return here & remember you can see the most recent tweets from i'vegotasecret by scrolling to the bottom and there's a link to follow as will if you are the tweeting type)