review

i thought it would be a good idea to look at these,
6 months into this series
as a little review,
for concrete evidence that i am actually "doing" something
and for ideas for the panels i intend to design
for the mural project that we are doing in the community

i expected to "see" something
to "recognize" something
that is what usually happens when i review months of work
that i have never seen together
but i scooped them all up
almost as quickly as i put them down
because i "saw" nothing
and the faith that will sometimes manifest
was nowhere to be found

i did clean off my desk area
which was starting to get out of hand again

clean up

back to this...
i always feel as if i am punishing them
turning their faces to the wall
but it's not about that really
it's about making a space where i can see with fresh eyes
which is what i need to do
to go forward

you can not believe the number of flies and spiders i have swept up...

synchronicity

today was a lesson in trust, process and the importance of t_l_v:
all of a sudden i realized that i had begun
a project i wanted to do months ago
albeit in a slightly different form
and then somehow
the universe conspired to make a place for it

failure

for the first time i feel as if this project could fail...

daydreams

i think you could say
that i started this new work
with the idea that since i was feeling uncomfortable "painting"
i should approach these canvases more like making "drawings"
even though i was basically doing this with the smaller canvases a few months ago
it wasn't a conscious process
with these,
i am proceeding with a bit more purpose & awareness

significance

trash

drawing


composite

extremely significant that this was my tweet a from today
and that these were my fotola posts from a year ago:

daily bread		animus

composite

trying something out
not convinced that it's going to work
tho i'm sure it would help if i wasn't running out of cyan toner
(or had a slightly better printer)
but honestly
i think it's that the concept is not yet fully realized

here's a cat that i made
:)

process (of decay)

a few days later
compare

process

the way these things dry up is quite amazing;
from time to time
i think i'll post that process here
just a few days ago
they were all so plump and vibrant:

red thing

i have no idea what that red thing is
but without a macro
i would never have even known it was there

and this shadow...?



well, it's juat a piece of these:

daily bread		animus

paint today

thinking that what i painted today
could be part of a show entitled:
"yes, your 5 year old could do that, but why would they want to?"

daily bread		animus

january's flickr posts:

time to move on

taking this down tonight
for 2 reasons
they sit under a skylight
and that's way too much light for watercolors
and
it's time to make room for something else
i have an idea...

it looks like a year to me

so traditionally, this is my new year's eve,
the night before my birthday
my real moment for reflection

this project is finished
i started it 365 days ago
one month of it was shown at sugar this fall
honestly, it's very strange to see it all laid out like this
my relationship to it is basically 2 at a time:
the one i am working on and the one that came before it.

but it does represent for me a very important lesson
(a lesson for life as well as the studio)
the concept is not new to me
but i like seeing it metaphorically, in terms of this piece;
quite simply, the value of things are not always obvious in the present:
so many days during the course of this project
i was dismayed by the drawing i had made
but what is impossible to understand in the moment
is that when seen in context of the whole,
every piece has it's place
impossible to understand in the moment...
but imperitive to have faith in

new beginnings

the first card i picked out of the deck...

since new beginnings
are a good time to revise & revamp
i am taking this opportunity to look at aspects of my process as well
i have been thinking for some time about revamping my daily water color projects
and i plan on using the oblique strategies as part of this

not sure

still not sure about all this...
yes it's pretty & fun
but what else

i am pretty much frustrated with everything

slow progress

when i tell people that i am working again
they want to know if the work is different...
i say
"it's white
it's very white"
and they are satisfied,
but of course it's so much more than that
and of course that's related to the process
which is so much more about trust
not the need to "do"
but the faith that it's "getting done"
this is a slow process

layering

some days just slip through your fingers
today was one of them

this month's flickr posts: