things i made today

i did anything (and everything) that came into my head today

clearly it didn't amount to much

it was an awful studio day actually
filled with relentless self recriminations
which i call truths
it seems to have gotten a little better towards the end

feels right

after 2 days of deliberating and testing papers
i returned home with 2 sheets of 40"x60" 300lb cold pressed lanaquarelle paper
inherently, paper this size is a bit intimidating:
there is no starting over, no painting out during the next 2½ months
i am working on a slightly different surface than i am used to
and it's going to require me to work standing not sitting on the floor,
i also tend to be a little careless, but that's not going to be an option 

i will make the flower every day paintings alternating between the two sheets,
photographing them each day to build a slide show of them developing
the set up i devised is going to need some adjusting
since there is no interim place to put each sheet as one comes off the table
and the other comes off the wall

daily bread		animus

consistent

at least i'm consistent across mediums
it makes me feel as if i have something to say
even if i am not sure what it is

epiphany

if you are inspired
and if you wish to honor that inspiration
then shouldn't the qualities that touch you
inform the manifestation of your response?

if you are compelled by honesty, commitment, risk and generosity
shouldn't those elements be inherent in your efforts

i realized that i need to break out of my comfort zone
in order for a flower every day to have meaning
i realized that i will have to risk something of myself
in order for this work to resonate
i realized that only by pushing the limits of what i am accustomed to doing
will there be a possibility of making anything of real value
and of course, for this ultimately to have truth
i will really need to be present during this process

this weekend i am doing tests
monday i will buy a 40x60 sheet of watercolor paper
and instead of doing this project on individual sheets
i will create one large work
over the course of the next 10 weeks...

and this again too

another accordion book,
i love the connectedness of the images
just like with the "it looks like a month to me" project
i love that you absolutely can't judge what you have just done
because each page can never be seen
except as part of a whole
that doesn't exist yet
it forces one to trust in the process
all in all
re-inforcing a good habit
and it was an "re-" day
re-entering
re-defining
re-engaging
with my space
after a week of santa's workshop
and because i was a bit under the weather
i allowed myself that luxury
of wandering back
at my own pace

merging

i am experimenting with merging
merging the photo & the paint

source material

yeah, i'm just a little psyched
got tickets to this & this today

promise

there is something happening here
maybe it will stay
and here are all 100:

a taste of sugar

maybe you saw a few days ago (9/18)
that i laid out a project that i am roughly 3/4 of the way through.
(it began 1/15/09 and it will end 1/14/10)
but a piece of it (4/15-5/14)
will be on view beginning saturday (9/26) as part of sugar's inaugral show.

all of a sudden i realize this means i need to
a. document the work (hence the scanning yesterday)
b, find a title for the piece: it feels like a month to me
&
c. sign and number the 30 drawings that make up this section (above)

@ponto e virgula well, on saturday we'll see how gwendolyn does it, :)

monthly process

this is maybe the only time i have intentionally used the 16:9 ratio on my camera
(occasionally i find myself accidentally on that setting)
it's not that incredible an image
but it's the first time since this moment
that i've looked at this project in it's entirety
(and that was only about one month in)
basically i am making a drawing a day
that connects to the day before
i started on 1/15
(yes my bday)
and each segment goes to the 14th of the next month
i intended to make them into accordion books
(like i did with my original self portrait project
30 years ago)
but i am not sure that's going to work structurally
so i am still don't know how i am going to present it
(or for that matter
this spin off project
which connects not only left/right
but also up/down
and is quickly nearing its final 100th drawing)

in between

i think a lot about the spaces in between...
about connections
and about juxtapositions

maybe it's just how i feel about process
and how ultimately
it is my subject matter

brush stroke

returning home;
sometimes it seems easier
if i am only going away overnight
to paint
very, very early the morning that i leave
and
very, very late the night i come home
rather than pack up all my supplies
and carry them along with the rest of my stuff
especially when the trip involves public transportation